The last 20 years...

The last 20 years of my life have been really good. I have been blessed (I hate the word blessed, like it was given to me by some greater being, but I seem to be at a loss for a better word because I do feel lucky to have these advantages) with many great things including a loving, caring family, adequate wealth, a boyfriend that kept my ass out of a lot of trouble at a young age, and now a perfect fiance. I had the ability at a young age to move out of my parents home and make a new life with my then boyfriend of 3 years. We moved in together, got lives, and grew up - quickly. I have had the best time of my life and I would not change a thing in a million years.

About 3 months ago, things became more hectic - I quit my job and went to school full time (+ an extra 10 hours), which has actually been more frustrating and difficult than I ever thought possible. Then, my parents got divorced. I know in a society of people whose divorce rate is 50%, this isn't much of a shock to anyone, except my parents were different (or so they seemed). I had never heard them argue, fight or raise their voices at eachother in 20 years. They were divorced just 1 month shy of their 25th Wedding Anniversary. This seems to of affected me more than my little brother or any of my extended family. Both of my parents have since moved on, bought new houses, and are dating other people.

At the preset time, I am a college student at Texas Women's University in Denton, TX. I am currently taking 24 credit hours and am closer to suicide than ever before. (not that I'm close to suicide now, just closer than ever before). I took on wayyy too big of a load, but I did this because I felt I needed to after quitting my job for the sole purpose of taking more hours and finishing my degree early. I just went a little too far. Unfortunatly, this has caused me ridiculous amounts of stress, pain, anger, frustration, and now, a growing case of bulimia

This blog is to help me get through the next 7 weeks of school, until the semester is over, I have my final grades and can move on... taking less classes of course. Hopefully writing will help me to focus on something besides the mounds of work needing to be done, the 62.5 average I have in SCI3003 or the 71 average I have in Math... hopefully.