Blackout

I have, slightly obsessively, stayed up with Britney Spear's tragic demise the last 2 years. I really thought her VMA performance was going to be her big comeback, and it kind of was... just not in proportion to her performances of 3 years ago. But I have to say... Blackout, the new album she just dropped blows me away. It is better than any of her old stuff and was reviewed better than Justin Timberlakes FutureSex. I mean Gimme More, Pieces of Me and Radar are awesome. I have been dancing around in my nurse hooker heels for half an hour. I acquired her CD as soon as I remembered it was released today. I mean, really, great stuff. If she would cut some shit out of her life, get back in shape (like I have any room to talk about her being out of shape) she really could comeback.

GO BRITNEY!! Pieces of Me rocks my fucking world.

I think Britney loves the shit people throw at her, and she's here to stay, shit and all. The ending of Gimme More, spoken by T.I. sums up Britney for me.

Bet you didn't see this one coming
The incredible Lygo
The lengendary Miss Britney Spears, haha
And the unstoppable Danja
Ha, you gonna have to remove me
Cause I ain't goin' no where

Final Exam #1

Holy shit, I just finished my forever long Child Development final. Yes, you heard me correctly. I realize that it isn't due until December 5th but... I'm dedicated like that. The feeling of accomplishment is overwhelming. Oop, that was fast, it's gone now...

Now what can I obsessively work on that isn't due for 6 weeks?

President?

Is this guy serious? Is he really running for President? I read this article that his presidential plan is that he's running on both the democratic and republican sides and he promises to not only crush Georgia if elected, but Tennessee too! What a crack head. He'll probably win.

Confused

I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Well, physically I'm sitting at the desk doing my Child Development final... but I don't really know what I'm actually doing. I eat too much, care too little, spend too much time with my god forsaken family and take Jack for granted too often. I am definitely a confused individual. I feel like I should be doing more... obviously not more school, not more of what I'm already doing but I need to being doing something more productive... more meaningful. I think having kids would make me feel meaningful, I think being married might do that... I don't know but sitting day in and day out doing the exact same thing is driving me crazy, not to mention, giving me cellulite. I wish Jack was home but he'd probably just be sitting on the couch on his iphone while I sit at the desk doing homework completely ignoring each other. Ah, marital bliss.

I Love SouthPark!!

I found this website that lets you make your own SouthPark character. http://www.sp-studio.de/sp-studio.swf

I thought it was an interesting waste of time. Cute, huh?

Laaaame

Well... I keep posting this picture in a blog and then using the html address to upload my personal picture in my profile. But then I delete the post because I don't want this picture twice on my page... but my profile pic keeps deleting itself! So here it is, posted twice... once here and once in my profile. Oh well.

Very Productive

Well, I actually had a very productive day today. I managed to get most of my homework for next week done, plus some extra for the Geography class that doesn't start until Monday and I got to watch The Office epiosde that came on last night - hilarious as usual. I'm killing time before I head over to mom's house - I've been requested to sit and be with her while she gets ready for her date. Always fun for me. Hopefully she'll take me out to dinner afterwards... I need some reward for this. Fish sounds good... whats that fish place down the street called? Grill something. Anyways, that sounds good. Maybe I'll suggest it.

Well, Jack is probably in a crown of 1000 absolute Apple NERDS at the Leopard release tonight. I hope everything is going good. I always worry about him during these things, I always imagine someone going beserk and shooting the place up or something. Or some smart girl seeing my hot Apple loving fiance and trying something... grrr. I'm stupid. Anyways, I guess that's it for today. Tomorrow is my MATH test and I have to drive my grandma to the airport before class. I hope that works out.

Pest Control

Well, today is friday... my day off from school. What do I do on my day off? Oh, you know... dishes, laundry, clean the house, go to the grocery store, go to the library for more Read Aloud/Guided Reading books and the mounds of homework due next week. Always very relaxing.

Homework that needs to be done today:
finish studying (and programing formulas into my graphic calculator) for the Math test on Saturday,
print Lesson Plano #6,
write Peer Coaching Observation,
make Lesson Plan #7 (get non-fiction/instructional book from library),
read Book Logs and make Book Presentation for LS 1303 (due Wednesday),
Discussion Board posts for CDEC (laaame)

I guess that's about it today. Jack is home now until about 1:45 (when he then goes to work), so I usually don't get much homework done while he's here because I'd rather be doing something with him. We are both sitting around the house right now waiting for the pest control people to get here. I'm expecting a call from my dad at any second becuase he's getting furniture delivered between 1030am-1230pm (right in the middle of normal working hours!) and unfortunatly has to work. Duh. So I volunteered to go over there and handle it. I'm so nice.

My replacement (that I hired and trained) from my last job just texted me and wants me to call her. Yea right. I texted back and said that I was at school but I could answer her emails if she sent one. Lie. Why do they continue to text/call/try to contact me? Leave me alone!

Rant about Dr. Jones

School has been more difficult than I expected. I am not doing as good as I thought I would. And this is freaking me out. Why did I expect to be able to do it? I wasn't that great at community college classes, why did I think TWU would be better? Did I think it would be easier? Surely not. I guess I went into it thinking that I am a junior now, and the hard "core" classes are behind me... and that is true. Unfortunatly, the major specific classes are just as difficult. OK... I'm in 7 classes currently and the 8th one is starting on Friday... should I just drop that one before it even starts... I'm obviously struggling with 7... why take 8? Why is my SCI 3003 teacher, Dr. Jones, such an ASSHOLE?!?! Why are his tests so fucking hard? I have no idea and unfortuanatly I just have to "stick it out" as my advisor said. She did consult me by saying that once I've failed it twice... we can talk about alternatives. Fucking awesome. I look forward to that. On a brighter side note - I've heard more than one rumor about Dr. Jones being on probation becuase he's a shitty teacher with ridiculous tests and that he is "required" to pass more people. I can't believe that the dean would tell him to pass people that don't deserve it but... quien sabe. I do have a 62.5 average at the present time. I got a 68 on the first test and althought I studied more and harder and longer, I received a 57 on the second test. I plan on studying daily (althought I haven't quite started that yet) for the next test hoping I will do better. Dr. Jones did say that he looks for progression, better scores each test, rather than numbers when deciding pass or fail... but unfortunatly I haven't "progressed" yet. What to do? What to do? I can't fail... do you know how stupid that would be?!?! I fucking do nothing but school and I fail some dumb dickheads Science class?!? Ha!

Anyways, I'm freaking out about it... I hate this. I also can't believe that this one class taught by some random know-it-all asswipe is stressing me out this badly.

Also on a side note, when I informed my advisor about failing his class, she didn't mention droping it - she just said stick it out - maybe there is more than just a rumor about passing people who don't deserve it. What grade do you think I'd get if I gave him a lapdance? Or even a blowjob? We'll leave that for last resorts...

The last 20 years...

The last 20 years of my life have been really good. I have been blessed (I hate the word blessed, like it was given to me by some greater being, but I seem to be at a loss for a better word because I do feel lucky to have these advantages) with many great things including a loving, caring family, adequate wealth, a boyfriend that kept my ass out of a lot of trouble at a young age, and now a perfect fiance. I had the ability at a young age to move out of my parents home and make a new life with my then boyfriend of 3 years. We moved in together, got lives, and grew up - quickly. I have had the best time of my life and I would not change a thing in a million years.

About 3 months ago, things became more hectic - I quit my job and went to school full time (+ an extra 10 hours), which has actually been more frustrating and difficult than I ever thought possible. Then, my parents got divorced. I know in a society of people whose divorce rate is 50%, this isn't much of a shock to anyone, except my parents were different (or so they seemed). I had never heard them argue, fight or raise their voices at eachother in 20 years. They were divorced just 1 month shy of their 25th Wedding Anniversary. This seems to of affected me more than my little brother or any of my extended family. Both of my parents have since moved on, bought new houses, and are dating other people.

At the preset time, I am a college student at Texas Women's University in Denton, TX. I am currently taking 24 credit hours and am closer to suicide than ever before. (not that I'm close to suicide now, just closer than ever before). I took on wayyy too big of a load, but I did this because I felt I needed to after quitting my job for the sole purpose of taking more hours and finishing my degree early. I just went a little too far. Unfortunatly, this has caused me ridiculous amounts of stress, pain, anger, frustration, and now, a growing case of bulimia

This blog is to help me get through the next 7 weeks of school, until the semester is over, I have my final grades and can move on... taking less classes of course. Hopefully writing will help me to focus on something besides the mounds of work needing to be done, the 62.5 average I have in SCI3003 or the 71 average I have in Math... hopefully.