Relaxing

I know I still have 3 days to go before classes are over, but I can feel myself relaxing and getting into "break" mode. I have decided to change my schedule around (yet again) and I have moved the 1 winter class I was going to take to Spring semester so that I can get more out of that class (Long story). So, that means that I am not taking any winter classes - none at all. I lied to mom/dad and told them that I was initially taking 2 classes, well, I told them that I moved one of them to the next semester so they still think I am taking one. I don't think they'd care, but I don't want either of them to look at me as a slacker. So

- To Do During 4 Week Winter Break -
Organize Linen Closet
Finish Grandma's Photo Album
GO TO GYM! God damnit I need to lose weight
Find desserts to take to 2 Christmas's
Sell textbooks on Amazon

I feel better now that everything is slowing down. I'm really not having to study too much for my 3 exams coming up. The SCI one is just fucked whether I study or not. The LS one needs some preparing, but not really studying - and the READ one needs nothing, I just need to show up with all the info I've been preparing all semester. I'm not nervous about them all either - I'm just ready to get them over with.

Here's my mindset on the whole gym thing - I know that if I went consistently I would lose the weight I've been wanting to lose for a long time. It's not nearly that bad once I actually walk my ass down there, and I always feel better afterwards - I just cannot make myself change clothes and walk down there. I get discouraged because I have no gym/work out clothes, I have nothing good to listen to on my iPod, and I hate it when there are people down there that I have to compete with. I hate the fact that everyone in my family goes to the gym except for me and that everyone except for me is in good shape. I hate the fact that I've always thought I was too fat but when I look at past pictures I realize that I'm fatter now than I've ever been. I keep talking about how bored I am and how bored I'm going to be once all these classes are over - but the one thing that would for sure take up a good amount of time - going to the gym - is the one thing I hate more than anything else. I would rather throw up 10 times a day than go to the gym. But since my thrower-upper is broken at the moment, I think I need to go... balls.